Four years ago, in the wee hours of the morning, Joshua Daniel made his grand entrance into this world. Exactly on my due date. My pregnancy had been hard. I got pregnant just a few months after a miscarriage while we were living in Grenada. As with all my pregnancies, by 8 weeks I was pretty much flat on my back except for the 100 (or so it seemed) trips to the bathroom to throw-up. Living in a third world country in this condition is not a good thing. We didn’t have a washer or dryer and I was using cloth diapers on Michael. So every few days I needed to go to the laundry mat. And food was another issue. No Papa John’s or McDonalds or anything for that matter really to save the meal situation. And the pre-made frozen stuff you can buy was so outrageously expensive that it wasn’t even considered. So that meant making everything from scratch. So there I was, 3 little children already and totally out of commission in a place with no family or friends that could help bear the burden. So by God’s grace, a few other things had come up around that time that allowed us to come back to the U.S…
I decided to go with a midwife for the first time. She had hospital rights so I would be able to deliver at the hospital, but with her instead of the Dr. I was pretty exicted about this. So was Eric. He really enjoys being able to be a part of the delivery (so much so that sometimes he forgets that it is his wife having his baby) and the midwife was very exicted to let him do the whole delivery if he was comfortable with it. I really looked forward to all my appts with her, and she loved having the older children there as well. I have to be honest though, I was not really exicted to be pregnant. OK, more like really upset that I was pregnant. To this day it pains me to have to know that my heart was so bitter over this child that God was giving to us. I was physically and emotional exhausted and blamed this little child for my misery. I vowed to never have another baby. refused to buy ANY maternity clothes (and for those of you who know me, this is quite a statement) and was generally very upset about the whole situation…
Joshua in Grandpa Luke’s shoes! Big shoes to fill little Joshua.
By around 5 months I started feeling better physically, but emotionally I was still a mess. There was little that I did to prepare or make this little child have a “special” welcoming. I did do a pretty good job of hiding all this from my friends and family though. To this day you could probly ask just about anybody and they would tell you they did not have had a clue. Except Eric. He got it all. My complaining, my crying, my complete discontentment with the siuation…
So then January 27, 2004 came. I had never really gone to bed. My back was hurting so bad (already been through two back labors). I just lay there tossing and turning. Finally Eric suggested I take a hot bath. Sometimes that helped. So I did. and the pains completely stopped. By then it was well after midnight. I was frustrated. Instead of rejoicing that I was not in pain I was upset that I had lost so much sleep. As I was drying off, I felt the oddest sensation, one I have never experienced since, and I knew at that very instance that my water had broke. And sure enough gushing all over the bathroom was my amniotic fluids. I hollered to Eric who figured we probly had “at least a few hours” until delivery. He calmly called his parents asking them to meet us at L&D to take the older children. He called the midwife who said she would shower and meet us there. And minuet by minuet I was became desperate with Eric to “Hurry!!” and get me to the hospital. He was still very calm, waking the children and putting them in the car. By the time we were on our way I was practiacally screaming at him to drive faster. By the time we got to the hospital, he had realized the siuation at hand . Wife was about to have baby any minute. So he dropped me off at the ER entrance. In which I barely made it to the closest wheelchair where I fell into while (I think) screaming that I needed to get to L&D. The night clerk who had been sleeping at the check-in desk instantly awoke and started pushing me towards the elevator. As soon as he saw a female nurse, he quickly handed me over and asked that she get me to L&D. I think he was not wanting to be the one stuck in the elevator with a woman that was going to give birth any second! And who could blame him? So we made it to the third floor, I was transferred to a bed. My midwife never made it. Nor did Eric’s parents. In fact, Eric and the children barely made it from the parking lot to the room. Just the nurse who was setting me up for the delivery. There wasn’t much to do at that point but just catch!! And then, we had a little Joshua…
Joshua holding his new little brother Gabriel
A day out on the lake.
Joshua LOVES straws!
And it was love at first sight for me. All those months of being so sick. Being so tired and wishing that I wasn’t pregnant, vanished! As I stared at this little child who was now happily nursing I could only be in awe of the God of our universe. That he created life and had handed it to me in this precious little package.
(for those of you wondering why in the world we now have had 2 more children since Joshua, and happily smile if asked if we would want more children, God did some AMAZING things to my heart, but thats another blog for another day…)
(and this is also the reason we decided it would be alot easier to just stay home and have babies rather than risk delievering in the car!)
And so as little Joshua has grown, he has become such an amazing little boy. He cares so much for his younger sister and brother. Doing little things just for them that make my heart skip a beat. He loves Jesus with all his heart. He works so hard to make his Mommy happy. He brings me flowers just about every day that he is outside playing. I am always delighted. I think of how he was busy in play, then saw a flower and stopped just to pick it for me. And the smile of joy on his face when he brings it from behind his back to show me. He runs hard to keep up with Ben and Michael. Doing whatever they command him to do, just to win their acceptance as a “big boy”. He will share his last cookie just because he loves you. I am so proud of Joshua. And I am so glad that God knew that even though I rejected what He was blessing me with, He wouldn’t let me go. Thank you God for Joshua!!!
Things Joshua will do when he grows up…(as of his 4th bday)
When he grows up he wants to be a cowboy. (this means catching cows!)
He’s going to live in Oregon.
On the weekends, he’s going to build tree forts and catch bad guys.
He’s going to drive a yellow monster truck. It will have a ladder so he can get in and out.
He also wants a dump truck.
He’s going to marry a police girl and play games with her like putting her in jail and then taking her out. (I’m still laughing over this one!!)
And he’s going to come to Mommies house when it’s lunchtime.
I love you!!