Wow, it’s Jan 6 2010. I remember 10 years ago, when it was the turn of the new Century. All the hype of what might happen as the clock turned to 12:00 am Jan 1, 2000. And now 10 years later, here we are. No real hiccups a decade ago. As I have thought about this new year, I can honestly say I never once thought about where I would be, or what we would be doing in a decade back in 2000. But now, here we are. Twenty-ten or Two thousand and ten. It’s crazy. So today I pondered where I might be in another decade. Twenty-twenty or Two thousand and Twenty. And honestly, I have not a clue. If I am still here, I will have children that might be in college or married. One will be learning how to drive. Possibly even grandchildren. I was 18 when I married Eric and 19 when Laura was born. And in 10 years she will be 20… But it seems like just last year that we all welcomed in 2000.
I hope that I will see life thru eyes that are wiser. That I will have learned to love more and care less what other people think. I want to forgive and forget and not be hurt so easily. I want to have 7 children that love Jesus more than life itself and serve Him every day. And that our home will always be one of their favorites places to be. And I want to be running this race hand in hand with my best friend and husband, Eric!
Years ago I gave up on long lists for New Years Resolutions. My parents required them of us and it was the usual scene. By the end of Jan, every one was forgot or broken. I always felt like a failure and dreaded the list I had to write up each year. But I continued to do it for years after we got married. And continued to never conquer them. So then I stopped altogether. But that didn’t feel right either. So a few years ago, I decided to choose just one thing that I wanted to work really hard at and either change or improve at in my life. And that has worked really well. So sometime mid-Dec I start thinking about what I will make my one New Year’s Resolution.
This year has been difficult to choose. I have considered many things. Much has come from the many life changes that happened this last year. But no matter what I thought about, it all came back to one thing…
To find Jesus again. To see Him and hear Him. I want my eyes and ears to be opened again.
This last year has brought many exciting changes and mountain top experiences for our family. But it has also been a very emotional roller coaster for me. I have struggled with depression and loneliness leaving behind my life in California. Not that I am not happy here, with where our new lives have begun. I am. But many of the events this last year that happened left emptiness in my heart or maybe I should say no closure when I thought it would. Eric and I spent over a decade running this race together. And now that it’s over, I’m wishing I could go back and keep running. Maybe it’s because that is all I have ever known being married to Eric. Being a student’s wife. Moving almost every year. Living on nothing, but having everything provided for us that we really needed and so much more. At times God was so real and so big. I remember our first Christmas that Eric was in Dental School. We had no money to buy Christmas presents. Not a dime. And yet, that year, there were more gifts under our tree than ever before. They seemed to fall out of the sky. And we had not even told a soul that we were not buying gifts. In fact, I remember coming home from church one Sunday, and a bag full of gifts was on our front porch. They were all signed Santa. To this day I still have no clue who left them.
God was so big and so real. And now, I find myself searching for Him. Really wanting to know Him. I have these six, almost seven little children that desperately need me to lead them to Jesus. To show them how real He really is. Not just go to church every Sunday and pray before meals, but to find Him every day of their lives.
It’s an eternity thing. And eternity is a very, very long time. And I want to spend it with Jesus. Not a doubt in my mind. And I want my children there too. But they need me to teach them and train them and to show them by my actions that I really mean what I say. That I am really walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
So that’s what my one and only resolution is. And I am pretty sure once I find Jesus, every thing else will just fall into place.
Here are pics from December that have yet to be posted. I am going to consider myself caught up after this post!
Laura and Gabe snuggling before bedtime.
Gabe eating his first Mango. He laughed every time it would slip out of his hand.
We spent a day in the snow with our cousins.
Our children all love the snow.
Except Maryann. Who would much rather be running around in So Cal with a skirt and tank top, barefoot. But she was a good sport.
Elk that I spotted at Grandpa and Grandma’s Farm. Eric counted 35. It was fun to watch them. I have never seen wild Elk before.
Reading a special book with Grandma Beth and Grandpa Luke. Her new favorite. I think it’s because it has her name in it and even her baby doll’s name!
Lots of new cameo for a new year! A favorite clothing choice of the boys.
Grandpa Luke and Josh putting together his new “very own” wagon.
Happy New Year to all my friends. Thank you for all your posts and comments this last year. I love hearing from each of you! ~cheryl