It’s quite in my home. I can hear little Jules sucking her binky as she sleeps on my pillow. I held her, no really more like squeezed her little body as she fell asleep. My tears soaking her hair. I prayed and sang to her. Today, another phone call. One that grabbed my heart so hard I could hardly speak into the phone without sobbing. Another death. This time a child. A few weeks younger than Julia. They had played together. We know his family. We’ve watched him grow over these past two years.
What if today it had been Julia. Her time on earth here done.
Could I sing praises to the Lord of this universe?
Could I truly find strength in His never ending love?
Could I put one foot in front of the other as I gathered my other children into my arms and tried to explain to them about God’s grace and His perfect plan?
For the past few months, there has been this song that we have loved to sing as a family. “10,000 Reasons, Bless the Lord Oh, My Soul” by Matt Redman. We have sang it over and over. Belted it out at the top of our lungs. Sang it in worship and for Grandmas church on Christmas. The piano keys ring out it’s notes over and over. Everyone of us knows every word. Jules asks for it to be played every time we get in the car. “Momma, play “Bless the Lord!”
I sang it to her tonight as we lay on my pillow.
The first verse has these words:
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore